13 aprilie 2010

Anunturi romanesti (autentice!)

  • Esti analfabet? Scrie-ne azi si te ajutam pe gratis.
  • Vand caine: mananca orice si ii plac foarte mult copii
  • Cautam barbat pentru lucru la fabrica de dinamita.Trebuie sa fie dispus sa calatoreasca.
  • Castron pe placul oricarei gospodine cu fund rotund pentru batere eficienta.
  • De vanzare: birou de epoca pentru o doamna cu picioare subtiri si sertare largi.
  • Prajitor de paine: Un cadou apreciat de intreaga familie. Arde painea automat.
  • Masini uzate: De ce sa te duci in alta parte ca sa fii pacalit? Vino aici.
  • Cautam un om sa aiba grija de un lot de vaci care nu fumeaza si nici nu bea.
  • Tanara doamna, draguta, inteligenta, caracter, familie buna, doreste casatorie cu domn bine situat care sa aiba si autoturism.
  • Ofertele se vor adresa subsemnatei, insotite de fotografia autoturismului.
  • Asociatie de locatari, angajeaza fochist de inalta presiune.
  • Cautam femeie la fetita in varsta si nefumatoare.
  • Vand masina de cusut mana si picior.
  • Vand butelie de aragaz cu reseu si frigider.
  • Inchiriez camera la doua fete incadrate cu un singur pat.
  • Cumpar imbracaminte de dama deosebita si putin intrebuintata.
  • Confectionez si incaputez cizme pentru barbati cu inlocuitori de calitate..
  • Ofer loc de veci liberabil prin schimb.
  • Intr-o croitorie de dama: Fustele se ridica zilnic intre orele 10.00 si 14.00. Vindem second hand.
  • Consumati cu incredere supa de pasare vegetariana.
  • Servim cu frisca clientela bine batuta.
  • Nu servim minori sub 18 ani.
  • Nu servim in stare de ebrietate.
  • Avem ciorapi de femei lungi.
  • Confectionam costume de dama la proba a doua
  • Croim rochii pentru dame de lux!
  • Confectionam posete si genti si din pielea clientului.
  • Nu trimiteti copii la umplut cu sifoane.
  • La un concurs de animale, in cadrul unei sarbatori agricole, s-a afisat programul:
  • - ora 10.00 - prezentarea invitatilor.
  • - ora 12.00 - prezentarea animalelor..
  • - ora 14.00 - masa comuna.

23 martie 2010

07 august 2009

"Aceste cuvinte ne doare" by Vanghelie© =))

Vocea mea se va face auzită oriunde. Şi pe sub apă.

Cine nu are loc de mine… nu mă interesează… să se înghesuieşte!

Soarta mea a fost hotărâtă de destin.

Avem nevoie de lideri adevăraţi, nu de maimuţoi implementaţi

Acel tânăr care s-a transformat în 300 este vorba de unul singur.

Eu am să-l scot pe Gigi Becali din politică, pentru că Gigi Becali m-a scos pe mine din sărite.

Sunt atât de nervos şi de supă­rat, încât nu vorbesc decât adminis­trativ

Gigi Becali este un om uman

Deci mănânci, exişti.

Şi-ntr-un pom dacă mă puneţi, eu am puncte de vedere.

Mă simt exact cum n-ar trebui să mă simt

Chiar dacă n-am două sute de kile, când m-apăs, m-apăs rău pe oricine.

Ca şi prieten cu Sorin Oprescu, mă doare vizavi de atitudinea pe care a avut-o Sorin Oprescu.

Pe mine mă recomandă foarte multe calităţi

Numai cine nu lucrează nu poate să i se impute că poate să fie şi mici greşeli, dar nu astea.

Sunt lucruri pe care trebuie făcute

Mai are mult până să aibă punc­te de vedere asupra la ce spun eu.

Sunt oameni tineri, oameni care sunt prezenţi aici în faţă şi pe care vreau să le mulţumesc.

Deci prezenţa mea e datorită stării Bucureştiului în care ne aflăm

M-am bătut pentru aceleaşi principii cum m-am bătut şi pentru principiul de primar general.

De când mă ştiu eu copil, mă urcam în pom şi mâncam corcoduşi.

În ultimii cinci ani este anormal să mergem cu maşinile şi cu transportul în comun care mergem.

S-a tranşat această problemă şi, odată cu tranşarea acestei pro­bleme, s-a rezolvat şi problemele noastre interioare.

Nu există fiinţă umană, fie că locuieşte în Africa, în Asia sau în Rahova, care să nu fi văzut un film, să nu fi rupt o floare, o fată sau un băiat, după cazul care este fiecare.

E o fată tânără care am tot respectul din punctul meu de vedere.


Tre sa vedem cum putem sa rezolvam o parte din problemele romanilor si nu cu asemenea formule de a spune ce tre sa invete romanii si unde gasesc pe goagal, gagal cum, gugal gagal gulgal asa. Unde gasim papadia unde gasim nu stiu ce si unde ne interesam de Herodot.

M-am saturat sa facem dosare noi lor si noi noua.

22 iulie 2009

Top 10 reasons why to date an architect :P


1. All night long, all night strong!
2. We are damn good with our hands.
3. If we can commit to chipboard, relationships should be easy.
4. You should see the things we errect.
5. Used to doing things over and over again.
6. Finishing early never happenes.
7. We know the true meaning of interpretation
8. Creative positioning.
9. Work well in groups
10. The entry and passage are always exciting. :D

You know you're an architecture student when...


...You know the janitors by name.
...Your roommates say "good morning," and you reply "good night."
...You carry a toothbrush in your backpack.
...Someone asks you for your phone number and you give them the studios.
...You start paying rent for your desk space in studio.
...You total up 3 meals of the day to your breakfast.
..."Red Bull" is you favorite drink.
...All of the Christmas gifts you give are wrapped in trace.
...You ask Santa Clause for architecture supplies.
...You ask Santa Clause for a sleeping bag.
...After all of your expenses, you can't afford to pay attention
...You have 3 or more cups of double shot coffee espresso's in one night
...You hear the same song on the radio 3 or more times in one night.
...You know the different taste between UHU and Pritt glue
...You can stay alive without sunlight, communicate with people, nor having foods but you would commit suicide if the plotter doesn't plot your work out
...The only sleep you get is in your G. E. classes.
...Construction workers are already working.
...You've lost your house key and you realized it a week later
...You sleep more than 16 hrs at weekends
...You dance madly at 3 am though u aren't drunk
...You note smt with your drafting pen or yoken
...You are an expert in Photoshop, illustrator and AutoCad but u don't know how to use MS Excel
...You've got 2 subjects / day but u got to study it the whole day
...You spend more time in studio than in your own bed.
...Your parents are complaining that you're not having enough fun.
...You only leave studio to buy supplies.
...You haven't taken a shower in a week.
...You see showering as a waste of time.
...You've ever dreamt about your models.
...Upon hearing 'supermodel', you think of a nicely crafted-foam core model.
...Your parents have more of a social life than you.
...Your 14-year-old brother has more of a social life than you.
...You consider using broccoli for your models.
...You enjoy hanging out at 'Home and Garden Fair'.
...You know all the 24-hour food places in the area.
...Your friends get more sleep in one night than you do in one week.
...The streetlights turn off.
...You consider 3AM an early night.
...When you are out at 3AM, and people knows where you're at.
...Everything you eat comes in single serving baggies.
...The idea of a 24 hour 'Kinko's' make's perfect sense
...Smoking sounds appealing.
...You're out on Friday nights in studio.
...The only building on campus with its lights on is your studios'.
...You say "It's only midnight- I have plenty of time to finish."
...You confuse sunrise with sunset.
...You ask what time it is, then ask "AM or PM?"
...You strangle your roommate because she said she stayed up late studying.
...Your Friday night is 68 hours long.
...You know how much a cubic foot of concrete weighs (150lbs).
...You slice your finger, and the first thing you think of is if you'll be able to finish your model.
...You understand why architects have glasses and white hair.
...You call some great architects as if they are you friends. err... Frank... Tadao.
...You swear there are only 120 people at USC.
...You know all of these are true, no exaggerations.
...You can listen to all your CD's in one night.
...Yertain songs remind you of studio.
...You change the style of music to country cuz u are fed up with POP
...Sister's favorite brand names are Prada DNKY etc... But yours are Mastex, Staedtler, Pentel, Rotring
...You dare not to have a gf/bf coz no one can accept for what u are
...You can conceptually compose the food on your plate.
...You think the 'Weekender' happens every weekend.
...Upon hearing 'Weekends' you think of sleep.
...The 'Shop Cafe' closes when you arrive, and reopens before you leave studio.
...You have to wait for breakfast shops to open.
...You go to the food shop, and order the "usual", and they understand.
...You use architecture tools to eat.
...You only buy groceries once a month.
...You wake up to go to school and you're already there.
...You start wearing all black.
...You have no life, and admit it.
...You start to critique a radio selection's selection of songs.
...You bring your friends to studio to keep you company.
...You refer to outside studio as the "Real World."
..."Going out to eat" is at the 'Shop Cafe'.
...Going on a vacation involves going to 'Flax' or 'Pearl'.
...You confuse today and tomorrow.
...You tell time by when other people leave studio.
...You can write a 6-page term paper by procrastinating.
...You hear "Didn't you wear that yesterday?' followed by "and the day before that?"
...Your roommate files a Missing Person Report.
...You count the number of days (not hours) you've been awake.
...You think days are 48 hours long.
...You go to the store to buy a six-pack of 'Red Bull'.
..."Homecoming" happens once a term.
...On Halloween, you dress like your instructors.
...On Halloween you trick-or-treat in studio to get arch supplies or 'Red Bull.'
..."respect", "coolness', and "hatred" are all based on how much sleep you get, or lack of.
...You see your own picture on a milk carton.
...You start using words your instructor uses.
...Your bed has collected a thick layer of dust on it.
...Concept of time is not forward, but a countdown from the time a project is due ("What time is it?"..."4 hours 'till").
...You contemplate suicide 3 times a day.
...You contemplate dropping your major 3 times a day.
...You have a tent pitched in studio, but still don't go to sleep.
...Doing models all night long excites you.
...You know the people in the studio better then your roommates
...Drimmels are a lifelong investment, if you can keep the parts.
...Gesso is pointless.
...The roof, Atkinson Hall, at 4 AM -- nothing like it.
...X-acto knives can be dangerous... as we all know or will find out.
...Beer pyramids AND Red Bull pyramids are some of our late-night late projects.
...Elmer's glue doesn't dry quick -- not even close.
...You know the phrase "Always done, never done" all too well and wish the professors would stop saying it.
...You can always have more construction lines.
...You get to know the number and price of ur favorite item in the snack machine downstairs, as well as every other item and all the drinks in the other two machines.
...And if you have been drunk while in the studio working on a project, join the club.
...You believe u should be paid just for having the major
...You drink more in studio than you do when you're out
...You have sent messages on aim to another jackass architecture student in the same room
as you are
...You think "X-Acto Blade Throwing" is a sport.
...You have 3 or more 'Mountain Dews' in one night
...You spend more time in studio than with your wife.
..."Scoring" involves an X-Acto blade
...You don't find out who wins the Presidential Election until Thanksgiving Break, if you get one at all.
...A break consists of moving your car.
...You've memorized you favorite vending machine combination item (B6).
...You use your T-square or straight edge as a baseball bat.
...The day has 2 sunrises.
...You test which glue will cause your model to burn faster.
...When you tell people you major in "architorture"
...You can't draw without listening to music!
...When people tell you that they like walking around with you because you see things that no one else does.
...When you don't understand how someone doesn't strategize their way through traffic (or everything else in life).
...When someone says "icon" and you think of Louis I. Kahn.
...When someone says "eye candy" and you think of gratuitous details on a building.
...When you use words like "gratuitous".
...When you have to use spellchecker to see if you spelled "gratuitous" right.
...When you're not sure what day of the week it is
...When you have slept straight through a day and into the next day after a final review
...When lack of sleep makes you feel and act as if you are high
...When any flat surface is seen as a place to take a nap (underneath the tables in the computer room (that's where it is the warmest), in hallways, on drafting boards
...When a relationship with an upperclassman seems like a good idea because they might be able to help you on your project
...When a relationship with an underclassman seems like a good idea because their final review is before yours and therefore, they can help you produce once they are finished
...When the books that you read consist primarily of photographs and not so much of words
...When you have to ask your fellow architects to give you wake up calls
...When you have three or more alarm clocks in your room.
...When cutting yourself with an x-acto seems like a good idea because it will give you an excuse for not having finished your work
...When you go to studio and spend more time socializing than doing work
...When you have big enough balls to tell a critique that they are wrong
...When everyone in studio hates you because you are the one who plays their music too loudly
...When after playing your music too loudly the same people who hated you start to take interest in your music
... When you have developed an addiction to buying new albums, because you have gotten sick of all your old ones
...When trying to decide what album to play you find an album you haven't listened to a while and it ends up being the perfect choice.
...When professors for courses outside of the architecture school are lenient once they are aware you are an architecture student.
...When you tell someone in another school that you are architecture major and they automatically assume you have no social life
...When you have a non architect friend who wants to tag along to architecture parties because they know that architects have the best parties
...When you are the only sober person standing outside of the hot truck on a Friday/ Saturday night
...When you have a sign taped to your back that says do not disturb unless you are ordering food or handing out free blowjobs
...If it were possible to bargain sexual favours for production help, you would seriously consider pulling tricks
...You have given a final presentation with your fly open
...You try to do things to make your friend laugh while he is presenting
...You have layed flat out on the floor and gone to sleep during a review
...You have snored during a review
...When you skip classes because you have too much work to do
...When writing a paper seems impossible and completely foreign to you
...When you attempt to do a media project in lack of a paper
...When you have an inexplicable mark running off your page because you fell asleep while drafting
...When you are able to fall asleep underneath a running shower head and you are completely sober
...When you wonder what it would be like to be in another major and the idea of going out three or more nights a week is unfathomable
...When you participate in a mad dash to the campus cafe at closing time for free coffee
...You lose your eyesight and you gain backache and neck ache
...When people stop you in hallways and say "hey, I like your beard" and you realize that you haven't shaved in three projects
...When you start measuring all time segments in terms of "projects
...When you refer to your computer as your "significant other"
...When you have nicknames for all your tools
...When you talk to all your tools like they're "real people" and use their nicknames
...When taking "5" is going and making coffee, taking "a break" is running to the store to get more coffee beans and for every 6 hours of sleep you miss, you add a scoop to every pot of coffee you make
...When a triple shot espresso just doesn't have enough "kick"
...When you try to talk to another person and realize that you've invented your own language and nobody else understands you
...When Pink Floyd lyrics actually make sense
...When a 102 degree fever or strep throat is to you no excuse to miss a crit
...You always have the idea that your project will always be recognized
...When you finally have free time to go out you keep thinking “who was the idiot that designed the restaurant’s bathroom? “who designed this menu? or “who designed this [chair, table, lighting, fork, etc]?
...You've been at many sunrises, yet you've never seen one

...Everybody tells you how they admire your work, “but there is no money for it"
...You design spectacular things without the idea of the cost
...You have the modern mark: a blister in your palm’s hand for the constant use of your mouse
...When somebody lends you a Bic pen you look down at it
...You’ll dance ymca with a choreography without a drop of alcohol in your system
...You’ve heard all your ipod songs in a week
...You aren’t seen in public without bags under your eyes
...Whenever you get invited somewhere, it is followed by “or do you have a lot of homework?"
...You can easily discuss with authority the effects of caffeine on different drinks
...No matter the effort you put in a project, somebody will always say “why don’t you add this?" or “why don’t you change this here?" or “i think that…but…yeah, its ok.."
...Changes in your vocabulary: homework to project, ball to sphere, etc
...You don't understand how somebody can spend less than $20 at the supplies store
...You hate people telling you "go to sleep" or "do you still have a lot of work?"
...Your friends and you don't have the same concept of work "oh, we'll do it right before class"
:O:O